Letting it Out

I had gotten better for a while. Which is why I had abandoned this account. I’m back because I fell back into that hole.

I was hospitalized a few weeks ago for suicidal ideation.

I had been self harm free for eleven months. I started again. It’s worse now.

I’m in college and I have friends, but I still feel so, so alone.

I’ve returned to this blog to try and cope with some of the same feelings I was dealing with three years ago when I created this. I’ve returned a different person, but the struggles have worsened.

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"I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It’s the high we’re chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away but it never ends well. Because eventually, whatever it is that was getting us high, stops feeling good, and starts to hurt. Still, they say you don’t kick the habit until you hit rock bottom. But how do you know when you are there? Because no matter how badly a thing is hurting us, sometimes, letting it go hurts even worse."

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